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Avoiding The Squirrels
​
Watch Out! They'll take your nuts!

New posts coming soon - click here for archive. 

    ​Here Be Monsters
    ​

    “The time has come,” the Walrus said, “To talk of many things:  Of shoes and ships-and sealing wax- Of cabbages-and kings- And why the sea is boiling hot- and whether pigs have wings.”  -Lewis Carroll.

    …down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished or afraid.  He must be a complete man and a common man, and yet an unusual man.  He must be a man of honor- by instinct, by inevitability, without thought of it, and certainly without saying it.  He must be the best man in in his world and a good enough man for any world.  He has a range of awareness that startles you but it belongs to him by right, because it belongs to the world he lives in.  If there were enough like him, the world would be a very safe place to live in, without becoming too dull to be worth living in.-  Raymond Chandler.

    I am that man.  A man whose past is shrouded in mystery.  Whose future is unlimited by sanity.  Whose present is unconstrained by normalcy.  I am the Right Reverend Angus McIntosh, founder of the Temple of the Circus Monkey.  And I will lead the revolution. I started this blog as a useful way to categorize earlier writings and give my overly busy head something constructive to do.  I have opinions on everything from politics to religion, philosophy, pop culture, current events,  and god only know what else.  I am a Reverend, and I believe that I do interpret the word of God, or the Universe, or the Great Whatever.  Complete ignorance of a topic won’t keep me from expounding on it with great authority. A brief explanation of the name.  Behind every great oak tree is a nut that stood it’s ground.  However, you have to avoid the squirrels!  And there are a fuck of a LOT of squirrels that would like to eat your nuts to keep you from taking root and standing up.  If I have to explain the metaphor, stop reading this and go watch a sitcom.  Your mind has rotted. So now you’ve been warned.  Enter my spiritual world at your own risk.

    The Archbishop writes this blog for himself and he’s a nut.  He didn’t require you or anyone else to read it.  If you’ve found it through some strange happenstance, he thinks you should have the following warnings:

    1- If you read this long enough you’ll find something you hate.

    2- If you read this long enough you’ll find something you love.

    3- The Archbishop is totally unconcerned with being politically correct.  If you’re offended by something, please refer back to #1.

    4- The Archbishop uses strong and colorful language.  He might even include nekkid pictures.  He’s an adult.  Deal with it or get out.

    5- The Archbishop frequently contradicts himself.  He knows that his views all conflict with each other.  So what.  It’s his mind and he can run it any way he wants.  As Emerson said, “foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”. and Oscar Wilde said “Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”  So there.

    6- The Archbishop is an ornery pain in the ass.  He’s not a nice person.  And he’s NEVER wrong.

    ​7-The Archbishop would love to know what you think but he disabled the comments section.  If you have something to say just send him an email.  

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10/11/2017

JPIN Now

The book is published and so the blog returns. Let’s see what’s rattling around the old head today…

This just in- A sleazy movie producer has been using his position to further his career as a scumbag sexual predator. The shock. The horror. The yawn. Is anyone surprised that some movie making maggot has used his position to molest women who’d otherwise have nothing to do with him? No amount of political correctness, feminist preaching, pundit puffery or legal goofiness is likely to stop this behavior. So is it hopeless? Hardly.

You know what works? Nuclear deterrence. No matter how powerful, righteous or desperate a national leader might be he’s unlikely to launch a nuclear attack if he knows there will be one coming right back. I know it isn’t enlightened or ideal but so far it has worked. Fear can be a powerful motivator. It’s time to apply that principle to sexual predation.

Whether we like it or not sexual predators are protected by the fact that their actions are usually not going to result in personal pain. Let’s end that. Under the law you’re allowed to commit assault or even murder if you feel at risk of your life. It’s called justifiable homicide. How about if we create a legal loophole called the JPIN; the Justifiable Punch in the Nose or Justifiable Punch in the Nuts. An idea who’s time has come.

JPIN would work in two ways. The first is obvious. If some dirt dweller grabs you its completely legal for you or anyone with you to punch him in the nuts. Hard. Maybe a couple of times. That’ll slow him down. Of course the limit to this idea is that little turtle dick will likely wait until he’s alone with his victim and he’s probably bigger and stronger. That’s where the second part, the nuclear deterrent, comes in. It will be completely legal for someone to apply apply JPIN at a later date and on your behalf. Got a boyfriend or a brother? Know any big guys who’d like to help out? Tell them the details and they can go punch this human garbage in the face. Fear of reprisal, keeping the world safe for a thousand years.

I know it’s a Neanderthal idea. That’s why I like it. Fight sexism with violent sexism. Elegant and cool plus its already in practice and working. Nobody hits on my wife at a biker function. That’s not usually the case at more ‘civilized’ events.

​I’ve reposted an earlier blog below and you can see that the JPIN plan would completely shut down sexual assaults on men (and yes those are a problem too). Call your congressman. We want JPIN and we want it now. Saor Alba, Vaya con Dios and Viva la Revolucion

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